Behind the warmest smiles lie the saddest hearts Once overflowing now just shattered parts Perfectly practised fake smile silently sowing deception They see the smile and never the drowning depression When entertainment is an expectation, laughter an expectation Then life becomes an unbearable nightmare You have no identity when no-one else is there Just a spinning kaleidescope of images, colours, thoughts and ideas A swirling carnival of dreams, memories, hopes and fears And the question, ‘who is this person that is me?’ This is me, your normal, broken, confused eccentric bi-product of a world drowned in insanity This is me, I’m just Averagely Crazy I wrote this poem and then it changed into a play and then into a short story that I have on wattpad… It’s kindof an explanation of me and who I am. It seems like the right time to tell you a little about me and who I am. My NamKylen, Kalel is my writer pseudonym, hehe… I was born in Durban, South Africa where I grew up in a little bit of a troubled household until my birth parents divorced and I was taken in by my Aunt who I now call mother. I grew up reading, books were always my escape from everything and I was pretty much always a nerdy kid even though I played football, squash and did Karate like a badass. When I was 18 I moved to go live with my father and it seemed like the older I got the nerdier I got because I began getting obsessed with comic books and started my journey of collecting and just going out all crazy about superheroes and such. Since then my nerdoms have increased so much and I now have a pretty impressive collection I think… I studied english, writing and psychology for a while, I have worked in a DVD store, as a barman and as a waiter all while writing every chance I can get and trying so very hard to make my dreams as a writer come true. I am still struggling but still working hard and never giving up. I will be famous one day, my books will grace the shelves of book stores and my dreams will be realised… It will be so… What are your dreams? I would love to hear them… Live to Rise.